"this is so weird"

during the last couple of months there have been so many moments where i have thought the statement, "this is so weird." like when i watched my very last high school football game, when i picked up my graduation gown, when my friend opened up his mission call, when i was registering for college, when i realized i was at my last school dance, when i sang our school hymn for the very last time, and when i was driving to my own graduation. "this is so weird" is the only way i can think to describe what i was feeling in all of those moments. 

weird? but what do i mean by weird?

in third grade my elementary school teacher would have us learn one word every week. one day this kid who had developed quite the afro in his youth, would wear an elmo jacket every single day, and would chase girls around the play ground with his endless amount of energy trying to kiss them, described the word "weird." this was quite the coincidence because everyone who ever came into contact with him would label him as "weird" and he took pride in that. in class that day he described this word and said, "i looked up weird in the dictionary and it means 'different than expected'.

and that's how i feel right now: "different than expected". and really, i couldn't have been expecting it because it's an emotion i've never experienced before. it's along the lines of "bittersweet" but even that doesn't do it justice. "bittersweet" seems like the kind of word you would use when you're leaving summer camp: you'll miss the people you met, but you're kind of tired of making hemp bracelets. but this is no summer camp!... THIS IS MY ENTIRE LIFE. everything i've ever known.  the sharp turn after the duck pond, mutual on wednesdays and piano on thursday's and hanging out with the same friends every friday night. it's consistent and it's reliable and it's everything i've ever known, and it's ALL CHANGING. 

the night before graduation the dixie high seniors received our yearbooks and as me and all my friends sat at a table trading year books to sign and talking about all of our memories this past year.  i thought doing this was going to make me depressed, but it had the opposite effect. instead i felt so happy and blessed to have the friends in my life that i do. 

these last few months have been a constant roller coaster of motions about high school ending and everything i know and am familiar with coming to an end. my friends and i have been taking advantage of the time we have left and have been spending it all together. every time we are together i wonder if this will be the last time we will ever all be together for a while, or even forever, and that makes me straight up DEPRESSED. 

happy, excited, depressed, confused, sad, happy, scared, sad, excited, sad

these emotions have been on a constant repeat all of senior year and i do not think they will be going anywhere anytime soon. 

the next time an adult comes up and enthusiastically asks me the notorious question,"what are your plans after graduating?? with the follow up of "how do you feel about graduating? i think instead of trying to explain this my-whole-life-is-being-ripped-from-me-but-i-kinda-like-it emotion i'll just stick with: "this is so weird."

that is all. 

i would like to end this post by sharing pictures of (some of) the people who have impacted me through high school and more importantly this year <3 you guys made it all worth it.

peace out high school

sincerely, the graduate

-lex

behind the lens

when i was a little girl my tiny self, every morning would grab a capri sun, her rainbow butterfly flip flops, and her little point and shoot camera and set out for the day taking hundreds of pictures. they usually consisted of rocks, flowers, my favorite barbie dolls, or my friends enjoying themselves in their barbie jeeps. my spare time consisted staring at national geographic magazines for hours admiring the amazing pictures. my love for photography started long before i knew my multiplication and has impacted me much more than all the multiplication in the world ever will. 

i have owned more cameras than i can remember and have taken more pictures than most people take in a lifetime. growing up my love for photography has increased, and i will forever cherish every picture i have and will ever take. for practically my whole life i have had a camera in my hand, but it was not until recently that i faced my fears and finally began my own little business. one day one of my best friends texted me and asked me to take his senior pictures.. i was very hesitant cuz wow that is freaky and i had so many "what if's" in my head, but after an hour of hesitation i finally said YES! after i took his pictures i had so many people asking me, so i decided to quit my job and pursue my dream as a photographer. i made more money in the next two weeks than working two 40 hour weeks. i have loved every picture i have taken and feel like i have progressed so much this last month, and i owe it all to my best friend. 

thanks, benjamin:)

photography is a passion of mine and i am so incredibly happy i have had these experiences this past month to shoot the most incredible people. i've made new friends, met so many new people, and have learned so many new things this past month. i still have a long way to go, but i finally feel confident and am beginning to find my own style, which is more than i could ever ask for. i am so grateful for photography, and what it allows me to feel. 

here are a few photos from a few of my favorite shoots this past month!!

to check out more follow @lexiemikaylephotography or click on my photography tab:)

book me for your next shoot hahah

much appreciated

lots of love

-lex

little happenings

Wow, life is moving full speed ahead right now. However, this last month has been the best of the entire year. My friends and I are taking every opportunity to be together: attending every baseball game, camping in the mountains, crashing every school dance, etc. Right now I want to take in every moment because I know days like this will be coming to an end soon. With my friends leaving on missions and going to college, life is bound to change real quick. 

School is so hard to attend to senior year, but especially the last month of it. Everything is practically over, most people do not go to class, and everyone is mentally done. Free periods have been a blessing through senior year and especially during this last month. Hiking has become a daily activity   taking place of school. 

My friends and I are the life of the party at school dances. We dance so hard. And every dance we attend we always make new friends by the end of the night. The past few weeks we crashed five dances five weeks in a row, and each one was better than the last. Finally, we have reached the end of the school year, and we have crashed our last dance. We all dressed up fancy and headed to our last formal. At the end of the dance when the song "you're going to miss this" came on it hit us that this was our LAST DANCE. Wow, I live for school dances. I am going to miss this. 

THE LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!! Who would have thought?? All my life I have been attending school to reach this day, and now it is here. This is crazy. My friends and I celebrated the last day by driving up to my friend's cabin and spending the night there eating so much food and playing games. 

MY GIRL JACQUEL GAVE THE BEST FAREWELL TALK. This girl is going places people!!! She is the most kindest, most caring, most hilarious person I know. She has been there for me through it all and I owe her so much. I am so grateful for my job because I had the opportunity to meet one of the best people I know. Her testimony made me want to serve a mission even more. Japan is getting one of the best. 

MY OTHER BEST FRIEND/CO-WORKER GOT HIS MISSION CALL! I also met Canyon through work and he became one of my best friends. He is going to make the best missionary too. He has so many interesting stories, which will benefit him so much out in the field. He is able to relate to everyone and be there for them in every situation. He was a little upset he has to wait until September to leave, but he cannot be more excited to serve in Columbia. 

My first goodbye of the year was hard, but Jacquel is about to do some amazing things. We spent the morning eating lots of the best breakfast, making fool of ourselves in front of the waitresses, got called blondes, and laughed until we cried. SEE YOU IN 18 MONTHS SISTER BOZARTH. 

Dixie High Awards night represented all of my friends over and over again. These girls helped me all throughout high school achieve goals I did not even know I was achieving. Because of them, I was able to be a valedictorian, graduating with high honors, and receive five scholarships. To be honest, I had no idea I was doing any of this at; first, I just wanted to be like them. It was not until the end of sophomore year I found out we were all up for so many scholarships and valedictorian and that was what they were striving for all along. I found the best friends through high school, and I would not have been there without them. THANKS, GUYS. 

Now that high school is over it is time for all of the graduations. After four long years of seminary I finally graduated. This was a very happy moment of my life. My teachers probably questioned my graduation progress because of my attendance, but I read my scriptures and attended most of my classes on time. 

Life has been so busy, but I could not be happier. 

-Lex